screw it up..

Having such a ldr is not a good choice for me as I can see from the past that ldr made me down and shock that made me know ldr will not good for me..but now why I choose ldr again?? Because In my opinion I thought that he would be different with the past. So I choose it. Although I know the consequence is so hard for me.. I give one opportunity to see it will works or not.. If not I will never choose this ldr again..
I know he was a good guy but in the good things it's always have the bad things too. I don't say that he was bad.. Just wondering that why all the things that I did never be a right things for him. He kept saying to me that things was not good. And I listen to him and I tried as possible as I can change it and be the perfect girl for him. But is that so much things that I should change. It's tired to change so many things suddenly. Keep wondering that when will I be a fercet girl for him until I didn't change anything.. maybe it will be long time.
Didn't see each other for a long time it will make a word "miss" but I still can handle that word.. You must know that in ten girls there's just only "one" that choose the ldr.. So you must know what condition I have now.. I know that I can't be selfish that it's hard for you too.. You didn't choose for this situation.. But I just hope for you to be really"""kind to me..maybe sometimes I would be childish but you must be like a brother to handle my childish,don't keep comment me the bad things I was tired.it's okay for you to comment me but not recently, to believe me 100% I will also believe you, the important is don't snapped me even for one time,and don't ever say "I didn't receive what it is you" I HATED it when you say this.because if I didn't accept what it is you,from the first time I won't accept you to be my boyfriend. Maybe all I write it all kinda selfish just thinking of myself. But all of this just my opinion that I need to share. If you can be all of this is good but if you can't don't force yourself to be. I can accept the way you are.don't be bothering with this thing.this just happen for a moment.. "Longlasting"*amin*