trouble again..

Halo.. I'm here again.. Long time didn't update my blog.. Just updated when a got a trouble. The same as the other blog that I write..yup.. Now I'm having a trouble.. Maybe such a big trouble, again and again with my LOVELY sister. Tired and tired and tired. I agree that my attitude was change become more angrier than before,easily got mad or this as usual (hahaha) still can laugh. I don't know what am I supposed to say. just being scolded by my FAtHER because I scream or something that was not polite thing. But this I make for the first time. Didn't eat at all..hahaha now I just waiting to sleep the other activities I was doing after I cry was blogging as usual and also hear a music as usual to "avril lavigne-i wish you were here" with thinking of wc(my boy),he already fall asleep without knowing that I got a trouble and I cry and I was ALONE. But never mind I can handle it. It's just piece of cake just like the song " I can be strong~ " with a knife on my hand. It looks that I was so scary. I am not doing anything with that knife and not being danger to other. Just put it on my hand and slice it..haha. Thinking again something that was impossible. My granpa..wake up winnie.he already pass away..he will not at your side anymore,he will not help you anymore.. Now you are alone.wake up winnie. You can handle it. Didn't imagine that my sister would be like that.just because about money that I borrowed and I forget to paid her. Seems like I am a stranger. Ok I fault of being forgotten to paid you back. I don't care anymore what did you said me. I was bad sister for you or whatever it is. I don't care anymore. I just really want my life goes straight with no trouble handling me. It's okay if my life was flat as long as I got no trouble. Because of trouble it makes me realize that I was alone. It much more hurt than all of u got trouble to me. I don't want to realize myself that I was alone. Knowing that everybody was not good to me.. ALL THE PEOPLE no exception..

STUPID GIRL.

Expected something didn't always give us a things that we expected. It's better that don't expect anything. it's much better..
Finding this w, for the first time it's good.. Much more better than now. Inside w is something that anybody don't know about it, they just know it was good for me. Can't described it. Now in my position. I'm just having a dilemma about it. Whether keep going on or stop it. Wanted it to be kind, respect me, worried me, always in my side, don't ever shout me,pay attention to me. Is it something that so difficult?? and if you are mad to me talk to me not to other person.. If you can't say it to me why you can say to the other. I'm what for you?? just a STUPID GIRL THAT ALWAYS MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER NO MATTER WHAT I'M FEELING AND ALWAYS HEAR WHAT YOU WANTED..

DREAM..

Dream...dreaming..
Each dreams were something that we dream about what we dream to have it..
But dream is just a dream..
It's hard to make a dream become true..
It's easy to make a dream become true for some people..
For me, my dream was so hard to have it works.just can dream about it..
Dream to become good,it can appears bad..
Wish that will come true..


Dream..dreams..dreaming..

you're always right.

What's wrong with this. Having no time together makes us separates. And I really confuse of what things that I done. It seems that I never be the right one. When I say something that you didn't like you said that it's wrong and when you say something that I didn't like it I never say to you that you was wrong and you don't even know that I don't like it. You just do as you are no matter I like it or not because you don't know. And I never can do as I like because you say or mad to me that what I'm saying was wrong. Maybe it's may fault because I don't say it to you that I don't like that thing. But I wish that you can know it even I didn't say it.. you have ever mad to me because I said that it was boring that we always chat like this and you mad to me that "even that I am bored too I never said that "I'm bored chatting" and I say sorry. But when you suddenly didn't chat to me and I asked you why you didn't chat you said that I don't know what should I say to you. So we should have a break first. I said oke. But you know I were really upset that why if you wanted to have a break why didn't you say to me until I asked,the second upset is you can say to me have a break that you don't know what to say why I can't say bored because this chat was just like that. I think that bored is just the same meaning as a break. If I have a subject to said at the chat you ignore it and you just easily said that you forget it or you don't know. and the important that you keep saying me that I just answering you and I never give you a question and you say that you are like an interview to me that I just answering you. but you know when I tried to ask you,you seems like ignoring my question and say you forget or you don't know. I just tried the best for you. But pliss that don't make me feel something bad at this relationship..

screw it up..

Having such a ldr is not a good choice for me as I can see from the past that ldr made me down and shock that made me know ldr will not good for me..but now why I choose ldr again?? Because In my opinion I thought that he would be different with the past. So I choose it. Although I know the consequence is so hard for me.. I give one opportunity to see it will works or not.. If not I will never choose this ldr again..
I know he was a good guy but in the good things it's always have the bad things too. I don't say that he was bad.. Just wondering that why all the things that I did never be a right things for him. He kept saying to me that things was not good. And I listen to him and I tried as possible as I can change it and be the perfect girl for him. But is that so much things that I should change. It's tired to change so many things suddenly. Keep wondering that when will I be a fercet girl for him until I didn't change anything.. maybe it will be long time.
Didn't see each other for a long time it will make a word "miss" but I still can handle that word.. You must know that in ten girls there's just only "one" that choose the ldr.. So you must know what condition I have now.. I know that I can't be selfish that it's hard for you too.. You didn't choose for this situation.. But I just hope for you to be really"""kind to me..maybe sometimes I would be childish but you must be like a brother to handle my childish,don't keep comment me the bad things I was tired.it's okay for you to comment me but not recently, to believe me 100% I will also believe you, the important is don't snapped me even for one time,and don't ever say "I didn't receive what it is you" I HATED it when you say this.because if I didn't accept what it is you,from the first time I won't accept you to be my boyfriend. Maybe all I write it all kinda selfish just thinking of myself. But all of this just my opinion that I need to share. If you can be all of this is good but if you can't don't force yourself to be. I can accept the way you are.don't be bothering with this thing.this just happen for a moment.. "Longlasting"*amin*

hello hello

I'm back again..~(˘▾˘~) ~(˘▾˘)~ (~˘▾˘)~
'Till 1day to go before my 1st anniversary..
Hahahahahahaha.
Can't wait..even though we didn't see each other..
But it's ‎​;) ÖKªªªªªªŸ ;) for me..even if you are here is much better..
Hahahaha
Ow ya..I have new phone. That my dad buys for me..thanks dad..
It's full of white color. That's one of my favorite color..
( ♥͡▽♥͡ ) it so much..
For now..I can't upload the pic..but later I would upload it.
“☺/
/▲ ьýє"
][..."

welcome back..

so long ago didn't open this blog..miss it.hahaha
need to open my blog again..writing anything that's happen to me..
still update this blog again..
now i'm focus on my tumblr..hehehe
magiconmyworld.tumblr.com
this February ,exactly at 19th saturday..my boyfriend came back to Medan..
for 10days until 28th, the end of this February..having so much fun with him at 10days..
went out for a movie,eating,etc..
wish that he would come back again...T_T
now just focus on my campus...and tried to search any jobs that was suit to me..
end of my blog..hahahaha
have a nice day. ;*